I was haunted always

I was haunted always by my other life-my drab room in the Bronx, my square foot of the subway, my fixation upon the day’s letter from Alabama-would it come and what would it say?-my shabby suits, my poverty, and love. While my friends were launching decently into life I had muscled my inadequate bark into midstream… I was a failure-mediocre at advertising work and unable to get started as a writer. Hating the city, I got roaring, weeping drunk on my last penny and went home.
F. Scott Fitzgerald