An act of God was defined as something which no reasonable man could have expected.
A. P. Herbert
A. P. Herbert
Well, fancy giving money
Well, fancy giving money to the Government! Might as well have put it down the drain.
A. P. Herbert
An Englishman never enjoys
An Englishman never enjoys himself, except for a noble purpose.
A. P. Herbert
Justice should be cheap
Justice should be cheap but judges expensive.
A. P. Herbert
For I must write
For I must write to The Times tonight, and save the world from sin.
A. P. Herbert
The critical period of
The critical period of matrimony is breakfast-time.
A. P. Herbert
There is no reason
There is no reason why a joke should not be appreciated more than once. Imagine how little good music there would be if, for example, a conductor refused to play Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony on the ground that his audience might have heard it before.
A. P. Herbert
A dull speaker, like
A dull speaker, like a plain woman, is credited with all the virtues, for we charitably suppose that a surface so unattractive must be compensated by interior blessings.
A. P. Herbert
Citizens who take it
Citizens who take it upon themselves to do unusual actions which attract the attention of the police should be careful to bring these actions into one of the recognized categories of crimes and offences, for it is intolerable that the police should be put to the pains of inventing reasons for finding them undesirable.
A. P. Herbert
Let’s find out what
Let’s find out what everyone is doing, And then stop everyone from doing it.
A. P. Herbert