For some reason, religious
For some reason, religious jokes seem as trivial as jokes about food or driving. Emo Philips
Quotes for All
For some reason, religious jokes seem as trivial as jokes about food or driving. Emo Philips
Christmas seems to start earlier and earlier every year. Like, this time, it’s on December 25th. Emo Philips
Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand. Emo Philips
I grew up in an era when strange adults would grab me on the street and say: ‘Don’t do that.’ You never see that these days. ‘Hi, we took the liberty of spanking your son.’ Oh thanks, my hand was getting worn. Emo Philips
I have a lot more things to talk about now because I’m an adult. Emo Philips
Some comedians change their style, often to their advantage; but I see no reason why I can’t continue with the urbane sophisticate ’til the day I die. Emo Philips
I asked the head musician if I could go onstage during the next break and he said sure. I got two laughs in twenty minutes, and walked out feeling more elated than I had ever felt in my entire life. The glory of that triumph contented me for two full years. Emo Philips
I was sick of people making fun of my hair and so I cut it off and I’ve got much more attention than ever before. It was like when Mona Lisa was stolen from the Louvre in 1906 – three times more people came to see where it used to be. Emo Philips
They call me Good Time Emo. Because I love a good time! And my name is Emo. Emo Philips
Every time I see Dan Quayle I feel like buying a vowel. Emo Philips