Dishwashers – Quotes

I don’t function well

I don’t function well in chaos, whether it be my sheets or the dishwasher. Gabrielle Union

I discovered the miracle that all things that sound are music, including the dishes and silverware in the dishwasher, as long as they fulfill the illusion of showing us where life is heading. Gabriel Garcia Marquez

You ride one in

You ride one in to the beach, and it’s the most amazing thing you’ve ever felt. But at some point the water goes back out; it has to. And maybe you’re lucky-maybe you’re both too busy to do anything drastic. Maybe you’re good as friends, so you stay. And then something happens-maybe it’s something as … Read more

A good apprentice cook

A good apprentice cook must be as polite with the dishwasher as with the chef. Fernand Point

The Electric Monk was

The Electric Monk was a labour-saving device, like a dishwasher or a video recorder… Electric Monks believed things for you, thus saving you what was becoming an increasingly onerous task, that of believing all the things the world expected you to believe. Douglas Adams

Multi-Choice question: My dishwasher

Multi-Choice question: My dishwasher is: efficient; hilarious. Demetri Martin

I’ll tell you one

I’ll tell you one thing about me, and that is that I’m not to keen on being bossed around. If, say, my Mom tells me to empty the dishwasher, I like to wait a little bit, you know, not hop up and do it right away, because then it feels more like my own idea. … Read more

Babies aren’t dishwasher-safe.
Daniel

Babies aren’t dishwasher-safe. Daniel Tosh

One’s home is like

One’s home is like a delicious piece of pie you order in a restaurant on a country road one cozy evening – the best piece of pie you have ever eaten in your life – and can never find again. After you leave home, you may find yourself feeling homesick, even if you have a … Read more

I am faced with

I am faced with a bruising dilemma: pay to fix the dishwasher or continue serving everything in waffle cones. Dana Gould