Quotes for All
Most affairs do die a natural death. Today, you look at your partner’s phone to find out the weather, and you find out about a lover. It has never been as easy to cheat as it is today, and it has never been harder to keep a secret. Esther Perel
Modern infidelity is different than traditional infidelity and sits on top of the romantic ideal that you find the one and that if you have everything that you need at home, you have no reason to go looking elsewhere. And if you have an affair, it’s a symptom of a flawed relationship. If you don’t … Read more
The meaning of secrecy is very different when the model of love is one of transparency. So to understand the politics of secrecy and revelation, you need to understand the larger culture in which the couple lives and also the culture of the couple itself. What does intimacy mean to them? Where does the couple … Read more
But when we reduce sex to a function, we also invoke the idea of dysfunction. We are no longer talking about the art of sex; rather, we are talking about the mechanics of sex. Science has replaced religion as the authority; and science is a more formidable arbiter. Medicine knows how to scare even those … Read more
We used to moralize; today we normalize, and performance anxiety is the secular version of our old religious guilt. Esther Perel
I have more than thirty thousand hours of family and relationship counseling experience under my belt. Over the years, I have seen changes in relationship trends walk through my therapy office doors. My richest gifts are translating the complexities of love and desire in modern relationships into something simple and accessible. I can offer informed … Read more
Everyone should cultivate a secret garden. Esther Perel
As a teenager growing up in Europe, I embraced the romantic ideal. For me, I had to give up the ideal that one person would be there for everything. Once you give up that ideal, then you begin to accept the person that you are with – the person who won’t be able to give … Read more
Today, monogamy is one person at a time. Esther Perel
I say no to a double standard that men can roam and women must stay put at home. I say no to the fact that men are allowed to claim their sexuality and women just have to pretend that it doesn’t matter to them. It’s resisting poor relational arrangements. An affair is a way of … Read more