If a man watches
If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. Erma Bombeck
Football Fan
Pro football is like
Pro football is like nuclear warfare. There are no winners, only survivors. Frank Gifford
Lads, you\’re not to
Lads, you’re not to miss practice unless your parents died or you died. Frank Leahy
Football isn’t a contact
Football isn’t a contact sport, it’s a collision sport. Duffy Daugherty
I could have been
I could have been a Rhodes Scholar, except for my grades. Duffy Daugherty
I’m an ardent American
I’m an ardent American Football fan. Don King
Sharks are as tough
Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent. Dave Barry
They cut us up
They cut us up like boarding house pie. And that’s real small pieces. Darrell Royal
Three things can happen
Three things can happen when you throw the ball, and two of them are bad. Darrell Royal
A bottle of wine
A bottle of wine begs to be shared; I have never met a miserly wine lover. The social emotions it generates are equidistant from the philatelist’s solitary gloating and the football fan’s gregarious hysteria. Clifton Fadiman