The Rose Bowl is
The Rose Bowl is the only bowl I’ve ever seen that I didn’t have to clean. Erma Bombeck
Funny American Football
Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen
Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence. Erma Bombeck
If a man watches
If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. Erma Bombeck
Not only does he
Not only does he have the NFC East record for touchdowns, but also the team record. Emmitt Smith
Football: A sport that
Football: A sport that bears the same relation to education that bullfighting does to agriculture. Elbert Hubbard
Pro football is like
Pro football is like nuclear warfare. There are no winners, only survivors. Frank Gifford
Being a woman is
Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football. Fran Lebowitz
Football isn’t a contact
Football isn’t a contact sport, it’s a collision sport. Duffy Daugherty
If the Super Bowl
If the Super Bowl is really the ultimate game, why do they play it again next year? Duane Thomas
Most football players are
Most football players are temperamental. That’s 90 percent temper and 10 percent mental. Doug Plank