Tax Returns – Quotes

The IRS sent back

The IRS sent back my tax return saying I owed $800. I said If you’ll notice, I sent a paper clip with my return. Given what you’ve been paying for things lately, that should more than make up the difference. Emo Philips

Anyone who\\’s ever filed

Anyone who’s ever filed a tax return or visited the Department of Motor Vehicles understands that government does two things well: spend our money and waste our time. Edwin Feulner

All I’m doing is

All I’m doing is I’m filling out my tax returns – or my accountants are, and I’m paying whatever I’m supposed to pay, though I’m giving away a large amount of the money and that probably lowers my tax rate because I’m giving away so much money. But change the law, but don’t blame me … Read more

Bliss – a-second-by-second joy

Bliss – a-second-by-second joy and gratitude at the gift of being alive, conscious – lies on the other side of crushing, crushing boredom. Pay close attention to the most tedious thing you can find (Tax Returns, Televised Golf) and, in waves, a boredom like you’ve never known will wash over you and just about kill … Read more

Let’s talk about how

Let’s talk about how to fill out your 1984 tax return. Here’s an often overlooked accounting technique that can save you thousands of dollars: For several days before you put it in the mail, carry your tax return around under your armpit. No IRS agent is going to want to spend hours poring over a … Read more

I’m not the only

I’m not the only taxpayer who has no idea what he’s sending to the IRS. This year, only 28 percent of all Americans will prepare their own tax returns, according to a voice in my head that invents accurate-sounding statistics. Dave Barry

And to you taxpayers

And to you taxpayers out there, let me say this: Make sure you file your tax return on time! And remember that, even though income taxes can be a ‘pain in the neck,’ the folks at the IRS are regular people just like you, except that they can destroy your life Dave Barry