Tissues – Quotes

Liz looks at the

Liz looks at the tissue box, which is decorated with drawings of snowmen engaged in various holiday activities. One of the snowmen is happily placing a smiling rack of gingerbread men in an oven. Baking gingerbread men, or any cooking for that matter, is probably close to suicide for a snowman, Liz thinks. Why would … Read more

I had that in

I had that in Sochi, then this year I got plantar fasciitis in my right foot. That’s what has been really bugging me. It’s a lot of scar tissue on the bottom of my right foot and (I feel it) every time when I pick for a flip or a Lutz. But mostly when I … Read more

I remember Tallulah (Bankhead)

I remember Tallulah (Bankhead) telling of going into a public ladies’ room and discovering there was no toilet tissue. She looked underneath the booth and said to the lady in the next stall, ‘I beg your pardon, do you happen to have any toilet tissue in there?’ The lady said no. So Tallulah said, ‘Well, … Read more

The law of the

The law of the heart is thus the same as the law of muscular tissue generally, that the energy of contraction, however measured, is a function of the length of the muscle fibre. Ernest Starling

It was almost as

It was almost as incredible as if you fired a 15-inch shell at a piece of tissue paper and it came back and hit you. Ernest Rutherford

I don’t know why

I don’t know why no one ever thought to paste a label on the toilet-tissue spindle giving 1-2-3 directions for replacing the tissue on it. Then everyone in the house would know what Mama knows. Erma Bombeck

Making coffee has become

Making coffee has become the great compromise of the decade. It’s the only thing real men do that doesn’t seem to threaten their masculinity. To women, it’s on the same domestic entry level as putting the spring back into the toilet-tissue holder or taking a chicken out of the freezer to thaw. Erma Bombeck