Your Girlfriend

Think of your girlfriend

Think of your girlfriend or boyfriend or whomever you want to. Eugene Ormandy

Never get your girlfriend

Never get your girlfriend a pet that she didn’t know she was getting. Emmy Rossum

Hey, look your girlfriend is saying something. Artemis had a vast mental reserve of scathing comebacks at his disposal, but none of them covered girlfriend insults. He wasn’t even sure if it was an insult. And if it was, who was being insulted? Him or the girl? Eoin Colfer

The older you get

The older you get the more realistic it is that you’re significant other is your significant other. I mean, you’ll always have your girlfriends or your guy friends, but the person you’re married to is usually your No. 1. Ellen Pompeo

Be a half-assed crusader,

Be a half-assed crusader, a part-time fanatic. Don’t worry to much about the fate of the world. Saving the world is only a hobby. Get out there and enjoy the world, your girlfriend, your boyfriend, husbands wives; climb mountains, run rivers, get drunk, do whatever you want to do while you can, before it’s too … Read more

It’s one of those

It’s one of those things where when you’re training and fighting, you can’t worry about your bills, your mortgage, did you get your girlfriend pregnant, your pet’s cancer, or anything. Nothing else matters but that dude trying to kick you in the face or throw you on your head or trying to rip your arm … Read more

Whether you’re throwing up

Whether you’re throwing up or breaking up, you want your girlfriend right there! I don’t trust women who don’t go to their girlfriends. Drew Barrymore

Dying to meet your

Dying to meet your girlfriends that you said you might bring. If they’re the ones that tell you that you do the right thing. Drake

All my friends are

All my friends are always telling me how hard it is to have kids. ‘Oh, David, it’s so hard.’ That’s not hard. I’ll tell you what hard is. Try talking your girlfriend into her third consecutive abortion. Yeah, that’s hard, that takes finesse. You’re just inconvenienced. David Cross

Everything you do, burns

Everything you do, burns calories. Getting up in the morning, 100 calories; kicking the hooker out of your bed, another 100; diapering your monkey, 35 calories; laughing at a midget, fun and 10 calories; catching your girlfriend with another guy, 2000-3000 calories, depending on backswings. Dave Attell