It only cost Mitt
It only cost Mitt Romney $76.6 million to defeat a serial adulterer and a mental patient in a sweater vest. Andy Borowitz
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It only cost Mitt Romney $76.6 million to defeat a serial adulterer and a mental patient in a sweater vest. Andy Borowitz
White House political adviser Karl Rove was one of Robert Novak’s sources for the 2003 disclosure of a CIA operative’s identity, according to a story published today in Duh magazine. Andy Borowitz
John Edwards is a tragic case of a man who ran for President when he should have joined the Secret Service. Andy Borowitz
The only way to explain how some people dress for the airport is they think no one else will be there. Andy Borowitz
If you are friends with the wrong people, Google+ autocorrects them Andy Borowitz
Next time someone says, ‘Where has big government ever gotten us?’ the correct answer is ‘Mars.’ Andy Borowitz
As popular as Christmas is, it would be even bigger if it had vampires. Andy Borowitz
You can return all the Christmas gifts you want, but you will never get back the time spent with your relatives. Andy Borowitz
Twitter is currently valued at $8 billion, or $1 for every hour it has wasted. Andy Borowitz
A race between Perry and Christie would test whether Americans would rather be executed or eaten. Andy Borowitz