At one o’clock, the

At one o’clock, the ever-logical Right-Eye Grand Steward woke up to discover that during his sleep his left-eyed counterpart had executed three of his advisors for treason, ordered the creation of a new carp pool and banned limericks. Worse still, no progress had been made in tracking down the Kleptomancer, and of the two people … Read more

The true mission of

The true mission of feminism today is not to carp about the woes of affluent Western career women but to turn the spotlight on life-and-death issues affecting women in the Third World, particularly in rural areas where they have little protection against exploitation and injustice. Camille Paglia

The religion that has

The religion that has transformed Western civilization for two millennia is a blank slate for liberals. Their closest reference point is conservative Christians, meaning people you’re not supposed to hire. And these are the people who carp about George Bush’s alleged lack of intellectual curiosity. Ann Coulter

Our plenteous streams a

Our plenteous streams a various race supply, The bright-eyed perch with fins of Tyrian dye, The silver eel, in shining volumes roll’d, The yellow carp, in scales bedropp’d with gold, Swift trouts, diversified with crimson stains, And pikes, the tyrants of the wat’ry plains. Alexander Pope

You didn’t happen to

You didn’t happen to see your future mother-in-law at that meeting today, did you? May as well milk the effort. Yes, the hormonal carp was present. Marshall! She blew me a new one, as you would say.She ripped you a new one, I correct. The word blow has an entirely different meaning. I suggest you … Read more