Flight Attendant

My grandmother was, back

My grandmother was, back when they called them ‘stewardesses,’ a flight attendant. I actually had a ball wearing that little uniform and making sure everything was under control. Erika Christensen

Whenever you get on

Whenever you get on the plane, the flight attendant will always tell you the name of your pilot. Like anyone goes, Oh, he’s good. David Spade

I like that Sarah Palin. She looks like the flight attendant who won’t give you a second can of Pepsi … She looks like the nurse who weighs you and then makes you sit alone in your underwear for 20 minutes … She looks like a real estate agent whose picture you see on the … Read more

Did you hear about

Did you hear about this genius that got on a plane and set fire to his feet? Turns out he had bombs in his shoes and the problem all started when the flight attendants asked him nicely to extinguish his feet. He was wearing exploding sneakers. The new Nike Air-Jihads! David Letterman

Muhammad Ali: Superman Don’t

Muhammad Ali: Superman Don’t need no seat belt. Flight Attendant: Superman Don’t need no airplane, either. Clifton Fadiman

The first guy who

The first guy who got Aids was a French flight attendant. How you like that Frenchie! You know when I come back and run for office, that may be the one that comes back and haunts me. Bill Burr

Hillary Clinton flew with

Hillary Clinton flew with President Bush to New York City on Tuesday. She was amazed at the changes aboard Air Force One. For eight years she believed that flight attendants couldn’t wear clothes because it made the plane too heavy. Argus Hamilton

Flying back from New

Flying back from New York, the flight attendant said ‘God, I wished you were here yesterday, we had a stroke on the plane.’ I said, ‘If I have a stroke on a plane, I hope the pretend doctor isn’t the one on the plane. I want a real doctor.’ Anthony Edwards