With girls, everything looks
With girls, everything looks great on the surface. But beware of drawers that won’t open. They contain a three-month supply of dirty underwear, unwashed hose, and rubber bands with blobs of hair in them. Erma Bombeck
Rubber
You can’t always get
You can’t always get out on the mountain, so I’ll put rubber on the end of my ice tools and climb the tread wall, a rotating rock wall I have in my backyard. Erik Weihenmayer
Today the U.S. government
Today the U.S. government can demand the nation-wide recall of defective softball bats, sneakers, stuffed animals, and foam-rubber toy cows. But it cannot order a meatpacking company to remove contaminated, potentially lethal ground beef from fast food kitchens and supermarket shelves. Eric Schlosser
When I was a
When I was a kid, I slept on rubber sheets, but now, I’m a man. And I can take the wetness! Emo Philips
The most embarrassing one
The most embarrassing one is that I had no idea – and please excuse me – that you guys call a condom a rubber. My version of a rubber is an eraser. I’ve done that – very loudly asked for a rubber and people have given me strange looks. That was embarrassing! Emma Watson
No more cutting grams,
No more cutting grams, and wrapping grands up in rubber-bands, I’m a recovered man, our plans ta discover other lands, suburban places got me seeking for an oasis, cristal by the cases, ladies of all races with dime faces, sex on the white sand beaches of Saint Thomas, though this ain’t promised, I’m as determined … Read more
Most reformers wore rubber
Most reformers wore rubber boots and stood on glass when God sent a current of Commonsense through the Universe. Elbert Hubbard
It seems that almost
It seems that almost every time a valuable natural resource is discovered in the world-whether it be diamonds, rubber, gold, oil, whatever-often what results is a tragedy for the country in which they are found. Making matters worse, the resulting riches from these resources rarely benefit the people of the country from which they come. … Read more
Once he could read
Once he could read and write he would have a mind fit to rule. So ran the democratic doctrine. But instead of a mind, universal literacy has given him rubber stamps, rubber stamps inked with advertising slogans, with editorials, with published scientific data, with the trivialities of the tabloids and the platitudes of history, but … Read more
A couple must agree
A couple must agree on the following topics: 1) Do they want kids? 2) Do they want a dog? 3) Do they want sex? 4) Do they want sleep? (If they answer yes to 3 and 4, then they must answer no to 1.) And finally, 5) Who mixes the cocktails before they both don … Read more