Quotes for All
You notice how they always put the fruit and veg at the entrance to the supermarket? You go in thinking ‘this is a fresh shop, everything in here is FRESH! I will do well to shop here’. You never go straight to the bit with the toilet paper, loo brushes and such do you? You’d … Read more
The former police chief of Houston once said of me: \”Frank Abagnale could write a check on toilet paper, drawn on the Confederate States Treasury, sign it ‘U.R. Hooked’ and cash it at any bank in town, using a Hong Kong driver’s license for identification.\” Frank Abagnale
You can almost judge how screwed up somebody is by the kind of toilet paper they use. Go in any rich house and it’s some weird coloured embossed stuff. Don Van Vliet
My aunt in Knoxville would bring newspapers up, which we used for toilet paper. Before we used it, we’d look at the pictures. Dolly Parton
You kids have fun, and be home by Thanksgiving! our parents would call to us on Halloween night, as we staggered out the front door, weighed down by hundreds of pounds of concealed vandalism supplies, including enough raw eggs to feed Somalia for decades. By morning, thanks to our efforts, the entire neighborhood would be … Read more
European toilet paper is made from the same material that Americans use for roofing, which is why Europeans tend to remain standing throughout soccer matches. Dave Barry
Endangered forests are being slaughtered for toilet paper Daphne Zuniga
You know you’re lazy when you run out of toilet paper and use the cardboard roll to wipe with. Dane Cook
Are people crazy? People waited all their lives. They waited to live, they waited to die. They waited in line to buy toilet paper. They waited in line for money. And if they didn’t have any money they waited in longer lines. You waited to go to sleep and then you waited to awaken. You … Read more
The last time I was in Spain I got through six Jeffrey Archer novels. I must remember to take enough toilet paper next time. Bob Monkhouse