The best time to
The best time to give advice to your children is while they’re still young enough to believe you know what you’re talking about. Evan Esar
Quotes for All
The best time to give advice to your children is while they’re still young enough to believe you know what you’re talking about. Evan Esar
The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one. Erma Bombeck
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. Emo Philips
Now airlines charge for everything… If the oxygen mask drops, you have to swipe your credit card to start the flow of the oxygen. Ellen DeGeneres
I’m a godmother, that’s a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that’s cute, I taught her that. Ellen DeGeneres
People always ask me, ‘Were you funny as a child?’ Well, no, I was an accountant. Ellen DeGeneres
I was raised around heterosexuals, as all heterosexuals are. That’s where us gay people come from – you heterosexuals. Ellen DeGeneres
Just go up to somebody on the street and say ‘You’re it!’ and then run away. Ellen DeGeneres
Do we have to know who’s gay and who’s straight? Can’t we just love everybody and judge them by the car they drive? Ellen DeGeneres
Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer. Ellen DeGeneres