What we’re really talking

What we’re really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving? Erma Bombeck

Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen

Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence. Erma Bombeck

You know that just

You know that just before that first Thanksgiving dinner there was one wise, old Native American woman saying, Don’t feed them. If you feed them, they’ll never leave. Dylan Brody

Thanksgiving is the day

Thanksgiving is the day when you turn to another family member and say, ‘How long has Mom been drinking like this?’ My Mom, after six Bloody Marys looks at the turkey and goes, ‘Here, kitty, kitty.’ David Letterman

I like football. I

I like football. I find its an exciting strategic game. Its a great way to avoid conversation with your family at Thanksgiving. Craig Ferguson

It must be an

It must be an odd feeling to be thankful to nobody in particular. Christians in public institutions often see this odd thing happening on Thanksgiving Day. Everyone in the institution seems to be thankful ‘in general.’ It’s very strange. It’s a little like being married in general. Cornelius Plantinga

Best of all is

Best of all is it to preserve everything in a pure, still heart, and let there be for every pulse a thanksgiving, and for every breath a song. Conrad Gessner

I love Thanksgiving turkey…

I love Thanksgiving turkey… It’s the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts. Arnold Schwarzenegger