Turkey Day

What we’re really talking

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What we’re really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving? Erma Bombeck

Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen

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Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence. Erma Bombeck

Thanksgiving is the day

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Thanksgiving is the day when you turn to another family member and say, ‘How long has Mom been drinking like this?’ My Mom, after six Bloody Marys looks at the turkey and goes, ‘Here, kitty, kitty.’ David Letterman

I like football. I

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I like football. I find its an exciting strategic game. Its a great way to avoid conversation with your family at Thanksgiving. Craig Ferguson

Best of all is

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Best of all is it to preserve everything in a pure, still heart, and let there be for every pulse a thanksgiving, and for every breath a song. Conrad Gessner

I love Thanksgiving turkey…

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I love Thanksgiving turkey… It’s the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts. Arnold Schwarzenegger

It has been an

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It has been an unchallengeable American doctrine that cranberry sauce, a pink goo with overtones of sugared tomatoes, is a delectable necessity of the Thanksgiving board and that turkey is uneatable without it. Alistair Cooke

Gratitude is the sign

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Gratitude is the sign of noble souls. Aesop