Funny Thanksgiving Day

What we’re really talking

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What we’re really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving? Erma Bombeck

Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen

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Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence. Erma Bombeck

I have strong doubts

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I have strong doubts that the first Thanksgiving even remotely resembled the ‘history’ I was told in second grade. But considering that (when it comes to holidays) mainstream America’s traditions tend to be over-eating, shopping, or getting drunk, I suppose it’s a miracle that the concept of giving thanks even surfaces at all. Ellen Orleans

Thanksgiving is the day

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Thanksgiving is the day when you turn to another family member and say, ‘How long has Mom been drinking like this?’ My Mom, after six Bloody Marys looks at the turkey and goes, ‘Here, kitty, kitty.’ David Letterman

It must be an

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It must be an odd feeling to be thankful to nobody in particular. Christians in public institutions often see this odd thing happening on Thanksgiving Day. Everyone in the institution seems to be thankful ‘in general.’ It’s very strange. It’s a little like being married in general. Cornelius Plantinga

Best of all is

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Best of all is it to preserve everything in a pure, still heart, and let there be for every pulse a thanksgiving, and for every breath a song. Conrad Gessner

So once in every

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So once in every year we throng Upon a day apart, to praise the Lord with feast and song in thankfulness of heart. Arthur Guiterman

I love Thanksgiving turkey…

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I love Thanksgiving turkey… It’s the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts. Arnold Schwarzenegger

We can always find

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We can always find something to be thankful for, and there may be reasons why we ought to be thankful for even those dispensations which appear dark and frowning. Albert C. Barnes